With three boys, I am understandably interested in sports.

Neither my husband nor I are what you would call “athletic”.  After growing up with a father and two brothers who were sports addicts, it was refreshing to marry a man whose dinner was not ruined by a loss of the local football team. However, after the birth of boy #3, it was time to become more familiar with the whole wide world of sports. The matter was clinched when our oldest child, aged five at the time, cheered on the “hockey puck” while watching a football game at his grandmother’s house! With great boys comes great responsibility.

Our children have since participated in baseball teams, soccer teams, karate, gymnastics, swimming lessons, PE, and have a basketball goal in the backyard.  Progress! We have attended my nephew’s football games and cheered the local minor league baseball team at their fabulous stadium munching on over-priced hotdogs. Perhaps the biggest change has been our family’s interest in our area NBA team. For the last two years we have attended a few games in person, and watched the rest on tv. The boys know the names of all the players on “our” team and proudly wear their jerseys. We cheered all year as they played an awesome regular season (but we do not like to talk about the play-offs…oh, no we do not).

One thing becomes increasingly clear - an abyss separates youth sports from the world of professional sports.

Youth sports is touted as a way to build character in our children. Through sports participation, children learn not only basic sport skills, but also character building, self-esteem, sportsmanship, and discipline. For the most part, bad behavior is not tolerated. Parents who brawl are ejected. Players who lose their temper are benched. Many organizations have both parents and children sign a code of conduct that requires good behavior of young athletes and their families.

Now contrast that to the world of professional sports. Have you seen it lately? Take the recent case of Elijah Dukes, the Tamps Devil Rays center/left fielder. He was recorded on voice-mail threatening to kill his wife. His punishment? Nothing - at least nothing from the world of baseball. Why? The kid has talent and perhaps the ability to make a lot of money for his team. You see, in the world of professional sports, talent trumps character.

Or consider all the scandal over steroid use in both baseball and cycling. Or Atlanta Falcon’s quarterback Michael Vick and apparent involvement in big-time illegal dog-fighting and betting. His team’s response - “No comment”. Or basketball’s Kobe Bryant, who is praised to the skies for his playing, despite having an attitude problem and run-ins with the law.

Sadly, the list of professional athletes who have been in trouble for drug use, DUI, DWI, fighting, domestic disputes, and so on grows on and on. These men and women are paid an astronomical amount of money to play a game. And that is all they are being required to do. Play and play well. Character is not rewarded in the world of sports. If you got it, great. If not, don’t worry, it isn’t necessary.

Team owners, coaches, and others in charge are only required to punish poor performance, not poor behavior. Fines for trashy mouths and bad tempers handed down during the NBA play-offs this year are a great example. Fines are a slap on the wrist to professional athletes. Yes, losing $25,000 sounds like it would hurt, and to us mere mortals it would. For athletes, however, it is merely a playful swat on the behind. It all boils down to money, of course. If you can perform well, and bring in money to the team, you are a successful athlete.

So, that leads us back to youth sports. We expect more out of our children than we do of grown-ups when it comes to sports. “Be nice”, “Play fair”, “Be a good sport”, “No trash talking”, “Go out there and shake hands”, “Winning isn’t everything”. We preach these mantras to our kids, yet allow paid professional athletes to do as they wish, as long as they win.

The saddest thing, though, is that kids are not stupid. They are usually the first to notice hypocrisy. They have to play by the rules; they have no choice. However, they have their eyes on their ‘heroes”. They see how the game is really played, what you have to do to get ahead, what is necessary to get the spot-light.  

College sports long ago was infected by the nasty sports virus. Bribes and bad behavior of college athletes constantly make the news. It has also trickled down into high school sports. Steroid testing is now becoming more and more common even at this level. Again, bad behavior often makes headlines.

Don’t get me wrong - there are good athletes out there who are truly good people. Athletes of character, who are good role-models to youth and good examples of what a good sport is. Unfortunately, they are a dying breed. Or at the very least, unrecognized and under-valued.

Either way, the double-standard in sports needs to be fixed. Either allow our children to play like their adult counterparts, throwing fits, yelling at refs, and breaking the law. Or, demand more of so-called “grown-up” professional athletes - no breaking the law, no temper tantrums on the field, no drug use. Which would you rather see?

Unless you become like a little child….