After my first trip to the gym today, I have to come to the conclusion that I am so very, very, very out of shape. Well, the state of my body should have clued me in to begin with, I suppose! However, I do try to exercise several times a week at home. Turns out that while what I was doing was better than sitting on my ever-increasing rear-end, it wasn’t doing much.

I like this gym. My BFF belongs to one of the same chain, and enjoys it. I liked my visit there. The guy who showed me around was a personal trainer. He had lots of good advice. And bless his heart, he made sure to show me the machines the ‘ladies like’, and took time describing the problems some women encounter with their bodies, like I never experienced any of that. I wanted to laugh and say, “Well, I am sure you see what I look like, but thank you for treating me like a skinny, in-shape model who has never eaten chocolate in her life”.

I dropped the kids in the Kid Center, which seems nice and clean and bright. They were among the oldest there, although it goes through age 11. I told them to get used to it, as I plan to go often. Not to mention that in the school year, they will be conspicuously homeschoolers, and will almost certainly be the oldest kids there!

Anyhow, I dropped them off and headed to the locker room. I lost 25 cents in a locker, before I dug another quarter out and found another locker. I finally managed that, and after taking a deep breath, left my shelter there and went to face the machinery.

I like the look of this gym - clean, bright, lots of equipment, none of the frills, reasonable prices. The people working out all looked like normal people, and not the scary hard-bodies on various fitness center commercials. I selected an elliptical machine, as I have used and liked those before. Now, they seemed easy to use, but I wasn’t sure what buttons to push. I tried a few and started walking. My goal was 25 minutes. After about five minutes passed, it became apparent that:

  1. I was very out of shape
  2. I had no idea what buttons to push

The machine kept beeping at me that I had no heart rate (is that bad?). I tried to ignore it, and hoped no one else could hear it over the gym noise and their earphones. After a few minutes trying to get my attention, the machine gave up on me, and told me (quite resignedly) that it was quitting the program I selected and going to manual mode…whatever that means. I was glad it stopped bothering me.

As my face slowly started turning red from exertion, I began to pray that no one would walk behind my machine and look at my digital screen. It showed in large red digital ways that I was going very slow and with no resistance at all. The straight line at the bottom of my read-out meant I had no incline, and was not even on level 1!

I did make it 25 minutes. As I gathered my things and prepared to get off the machine, I realized that my legs were almost paralyzed, stuck to the machine in shock of what I had put them through. I prayed some more that I could dismount without falling on my face. I got off - which was good. Now I had to walk away - which is bad. My legs did not want to move at all! “Move!” I pleaded with them. They grudgingly agreed, but only if I got to a comfy couch, preferably with a bag of M & M’s. I told them to knock it off and get to the ab room.

Yes, the place has a whole room dedicated to working on abs. The machines look like left-overs from a medieval torture chamber. I found one the personal trainer had showed me on my tour. He had even demonstrated it for me, moving with ease. Needless to say, I did about 5 reps and collapsed. I quickly left the room, and took comfort in the fact that the 3 or 4 other people in there were not moving, either, and none of us looked each other in the eye.

I had to admit defeat. 30 minutes for a first work-out was going to have to do. Well, maybe defeat is too dramatic. I got there, I exercised, I felt it. You have to start somewhere, and I have. We will go back often. Hubby went the night we joined. He is excited to. Not that weight is ever an issue for him, lucky man. However, even slender people need to stay in shape, and sitting in front of a computer all day does nothing good for the body.

Luckily, I get my free session with a trainer on Monday, so he will show me how to use all the equipment properly.

So, here’s to health!