I am the “Other” woman.

I belong to a church choir, where there is another person with my same first name - Christine. This may not seem like a big deal, but it hardly ever happens. All growing up, I was about the only “Christine” that I knew. Sure, there were lots of “Chris” ’s and ”Chrissy” ’s, and their names might have been Christine, but you would never know it. And, living in Texas, there were umpteen “Christina” ’s, which is not the same as “Christine”. In fact, I was called “Christina” by many people, including people who knew me for a long time. I got to be rather sensitive about my name….of course, that is another story! The point is, there was already a Christine in this choir when I joined. Since she was there first, I got called “the other Christine” a lot, which is totally understandable. But after a while, being referred to as the “other” starts to make you feel a bit….well, extra!

Now there is apparently an older gentleman in the congregation at the 7am Sunday morning mass who dislikes me, or more specifically, my voice. I recognize I am not going to win any awards for singing, but I bring what gifts I have to the table. Another cantor and I take turns cantoring that early morning mass, since it requires rising at about 5:30am. This elderly man has developed a great liking for her, and is vastly dissapointed when I show up instead. Another member of the congregation felt I needed to know this, and so informed me that this man loudly complains when the “other” singer (me) shows up, and informs everyone he would have attended another mass if he had known. The first problem with this is, of course, that the “kind” soul who reported this to me should have kept his mouth shut. Why would I ever want to know this? Now I am well aware of it when I stand up here. Good for the soul (being humbling); bad for the self-esteem (being disliked).

For much of my life I have felt like an “other”. Some of comes from having a more wallflower-type personality - if I can blend into a room like a chameleon, so much the better. When you spend a lifetime trying to be overlooked, you eventually get your wish. The rest of it comes, I think, from mediocrity.

When I was a student, I greatly admired anyone described as a “Renaissance” man or woman. I loved the idea of learning about everything you wanted to, dabbling in this and that, not restricting yourself to one subject or interest. As I naturally have multiple interests, this seemed a good route for me.

Sadly, what I have discovered is that pursuing many different interests is entertaining, but rarely profitable. I do well in most. In fact, I do many things better than average. However, there is a vast difference between “better than average” and “wonderful”, “superior”, “outstanding”, or “superb”. So, while I pursue my interests, I excell in nothing.

Take my husband, for instance. Not that he is doing much with it at the moment, despite my encouragement, he is a highly talented artist. Born a natural, he developed his skills throughout his life. He is known for his art skills among family and friends.

I love to read, so I read. I love to learn, so I learn. I love to write, so I write. I love to teach, so I teach. I love to sing, so I sing. And so on. All that stuff takes a lot of energy, and I only have a little to dab around here and there. So for now, I will have to live with being the “other” woman in most things - that shadowy, vague figure you notice, but do not really know. But, I will have fun doing it!