Now a new little boy sleeps under our roof. Boy #4 came May 9 - a whopping 10lb 8oz child. He is sweet and lovable. His three big brothers are thrilled and are all big helpers.

So stay tuned!

This weekend we spent, in various stages as a family, at a cub scout camp out. After managing to avoid every camp-out during three previous years of scouts, I finally agreed to come to one. I was afraid that if I didn’t, I would never see my husband. He has been working hard at work, and leaving tomorrow on business. So, I figured, what could one night hurt in the great outdoors?

In a typically Texas weather forecast, a promise of “40% chance of rain here and there” turned into the great flood. I exaggerate, but no much. It rained the whole hour’s drive up there. Once there, we found our scouts stationed under a tarp, eating hot dogs and beans. We joined them, watching the rain come down. Romeo was happily rooting in the dirt and mud, like a pig. The dirtier he got, the happier he was. The 9-year-old was thrilled to be among friends, and did not let a little thing like rain keep him from exploring the lake and trails. Three hours passed.

 The 7-year old scout begged to go home, and I agreed. So, we kissed the rest of the family good-bye and headed back home. Showered, eating Sonic in front of Spongebob Squareparts, we were much happier than sleeping on the hard ground and smelling a campfire. It just isn’t out thing! The rest of the family arrived home today, smelly, dirty, tired, but happy.

It is a nice thing to have people in your family to share your interests. really.

In other news, child #4 will arrive early May. It is exciting, and scary. We have taken a bit of a break, and Romeo will be 6 by the time Baby comes. Yikes! The 3 boys are so excited. All I know is, with #4, I am back in maternity clothes at 11 weeks. Sad, sad, sad! Doesn’t help I have gained weigh in the last 2 years. All I know is at this rate I will be the size of a houseboat. Something to look forward to!

For the first time in my adult life, I feel like I actually “got” summer. Summer comes instinctively to kids. They know how to relax, kick back, revel, and be bored. We adults do not. We are too busy, too important, too bothered with life for things like….summer. Well, for the first time in years, I found myself relaxing into summer. Oh, it didn’t come easily. I struggled against it for a while. However, an illness at the onset of summer forced me into doing nothing. The recovery from that illness also found me having to do much more of nothing than I am comfortable with. However, I eventually found out something very important: I can relax, do nothing, and be bored, and nothing bad will happen to me. I mean it, people! The house didn’t fall apart because I couldn’t dust every week. The boys did not turn to dust because we could not afford camps and admission prices to various theme parks. The good-mother police did not arrest me for sitting on my behind one whole day to watch the entire “Thin Man” movie marathon on TCM.

For the first time since I was a kid, I found summer again, in all its lazy glory.

School started last week, and it was time to give up summer. It was hard to let go. The boys were thrilled to get back into our school routine. They eagerly awaited me in our schoolroom last week for our first day, while I gave a last longing glance at my stacks of books and the recliner.

However, begin we did. And it was good.

Now everything has started up, and as usual for our falls, we do not have a free weekend until sometime in November. That is good, too, but in an entirely different way that summer is good. Fall is full of school work, scout campouts, lesson plans, conferences, and classes. We need both: summer gives us the rest and relaxation that provides the energy for the fall, with just the right amount of boredom to make all those activities desirable. Fall gives us fun, adventure, and plenty of variety, and help us appreciate those quiet summer days.

It’s all good!

I was doing really well, getting organized, cleaning the school room, stocking up on groceries. Then, I saw one - a roach. Can I just say…eeeeuuuuww! It was big, ugly, and in my kitchen! I tried not to take it personally, as the weather has been hot and dry and I know they come in looking for water and food. I just screamed, grabbed the “Raid”, and took aim. A few days later I was preparing my next round of dinner menus. I opened a kitchen drawer to pull out my dinner suggestions, when a roach scurried out of sight. Seeing one in my drawer, crawling on my utensils made me ill. I quickly called the exterminators and scheduled an appointment for 3 days later. We ordered take-out for dinner.

The day before the exterminators arrived, I decided to brave a different kitchen drawer to clean out some junk. After rooting through junk papers and several unexplained screwdrivers (apparently they love to hang out together in small, dark spaces), I began to realize the what I had been assuming was broken pencil lead rolling around the drawer was not. Rather, it was roach poo!

God did not grace me with the gift of a tolerance for bugs (kind of funny that He gave me three boys, though, who all find bugs fascinating). I hate bugs in general, but really abhor cockroaches. I always have. Even as  little girl I screamed when I saw one. In my defense, here in Texas, the roaches are rather large, and sometime can fly. So, the evidence of roach poo told me that, in spite of only having seen around three in my house, a whole bunch of them were party-hardy-ing after hours in my kitchen/roach motel.

The exterminators have come and gone. I have seen two “guests” since then (the one I saw last night was big and fast. My screams had my kids running downstairs from their beds, convinced I was dying. Of course, hubby was “dozing” and remained undisturbed). I avoid that side of the kitchen, and nothing is being put in those drawers for now.

Sometimes, I just have to remind myself that this problem is better than the last house we lived in, where the uninvited guests were rats! (have you ever seen an 8-month pregnant woman leap onto a kitchen table with the grace of a nimble gazelle, while screaming like a cartoon character?) These rats could climb walls with ease. I was terribly freaked out. We finally got them out of the house, but we continued to see more outside. Luckily, our cat is an expert ratter. Sometimes, we would find one climbing the exterior brick of the house. I would throw the cat outside, grab a beach ball, and play “knock-the-rat-off-the-wall”. I have great aim!

Enough said! God must have His reasons for creating creatures like these, and in this case, His thoughts are certainly not my thoughts!

We entered the church foyer one day, arriving early so I could rehearse for Mass. As I said, we entered the foyer….and stopped. I looked around at them all, who were looking at me, clearly waiting for me to make a move. I glanced at the next set of doors, the ones that led from the foyer to the church, and decided to stand my ground.

“There are four of you males, and only one of me, a female,” I stated in a dignified manner, holding all of their eyes. “I refuse to open that door. With 8 male-hands among you, one of you is going to act like a gentleman, step to that door and open it for me!” I was clearly addressing the biggest of the bunch, but one of the younger ones sprung forward to whip the door open for me to enter.

Sigh! Raising a house of boys is a lonely job sometimes. Especially when I married a big boy. He appears to be an adult, but like many men, he is just a boy whose body grew up.

Case in point - I recently bought a Decibel Meter, to measure sound. For science experiment. What do you suppose the first sound these four various-sized male figures tested it on? They just couldn’t resist. Belching truly could be an official sport. What kind of power do I have over that? Sometimes, to be frank, not much. As the males collapsed into heaps on the floor, shaking with laughter and begging to be the next to “check” the decibel meter, I rolled my eyes and left the room. Clearly outnumbered.

On the other hand, as the only female in the house, I receive the tenderest of attention at times. I am their epitome of beauty (for now). I am, at times, showered with such compliments as “Your face is like the sun to me”, “You are beautiful, Mom”, “You are the best, ever”.

Of course, right now the young ones are upstairs, making gas noises, laughing, and talking about Spiderman. From where I sit downstairs, it sounds as if a herd of the largest elephants are passing overhead.

Life in all its glory!

Try as I might, I always feel the inadequacy of what I do. How can I give my children so much of what they need? Oh, after 4 full years of homeschooling, I well know the advantages of it. It has benefited our family so much. Yet, when I sit down and look at what I am doing, I feel unequal to it all.

Tonight I am making schedules and plans, at least for my use. I have been looking at websites. At this point, even the public school site has me feeling defeated. How can I offer them all those things?

I know I am just tired. Low energy does not give one confidence!

I belong to a church choir, where there is another person with my same first name - Christine. This may not seem like a big deal, but it hardly ever happens. All growing up, I was about the only “Christine” that I knew. Sure, there were lots of “Chris” ’s and ”Chrissy” ’s, and their names might have been Christine, but you would never know it. And, living in Texas, there were umpteen “Christina” ’s, which is not the same as “Christine”. In fact, I was called “Christina” by many people, including people who knew me for a long time. I got to be rather sensitive about my name….of course, that is another story! The point is, there was already a Christine in this choir when I joined. Since she was there first, I got called “the other Christine” a lot, which is totally understandable. But after a while, being referred to as the “other” starts to make you feel a bit….well, extra!

Now there is apparently an older gentleman in the congregation at the 7am Sunday morning mass who dislikes me, or more specifically, my voice. I recognize I am not going to win any awards for singing, but I bring what gifts I have to the table. Another cantor and I take turns cantoring that early morning mass, since it requires rising at about 5:30am. This elderly man has developed a great liking for her, and is vastly dissapointed when I show up instead. Another member of the congregation felt I needed to know this, and so informed me that this man loudly complains when the “other” singer (me) shows up, and informs everyone he would have attended another mass if he had known. The first problem with this is, of course, that the “kind” soul who reported this to me should have kept his mouth shut. Why would I ever want to know this? Now I am well aware of it when I stand up here. Good for the soul (being humbling); bad for the self-esteem (being disliked).

For much of my life I have felt like an “other”. Some of comes from having a more wallflower-type personality - if I can blend into a room like a chameleon, so much the better. When you spend a lifetime trying to be overlooked, you eventually get your wish. The rest of it comes, I think, from mediocrity.

When I was a student, I greatly admired anyone described as a “Renaissance” man or woman. I loved the idea of learning about everything you wanted to, dabbling in this and that, not restricting yourself to one subject or interest. As I naturally have multiple interests, this seemed a good route for me.

Sadly, what I have discovered is that pursuing many different interests is entertaining, but rarely profitable. I do well in most. In fact, I do many things better than average. However, there is a vast difference between “better than average” and “wonderful”, “superior”, “outstanding”, or “superb”. So, while I pursue my interests, I excell in nothing.

Take my husband, for instance. Not that he is doing much with it at the moment, despite my encouragement, he is a highly talented artist. Born a natural, he developed his skills throughout his life. He is known for his art skills among family and friends.

I love to read, so I read. I love to learn, so I learn. I love to write, so I write. I love to teach, so I teach. I love to sing, so I sing. And so on. All that stuff takes a lot of energy, and I only have a little to dab around here and there. So for now, I will have to live with being the “other” woman in most things - that shadowy, vague figure you notice, but do not really know. But, I will have fun doing it!

I like this gym. My BFF belongs to one of the same chain, and enjoys it. I liked my visit there. The guy who showed me around was a personal trainer. He had lots of good advice. And bless his heart, he made sure to show me the machines the ‘ladies like’, and took time describing the problems some women encounter with their bodies, like I never experienced any of that. I wanted to laugh and say, “Well, I am sure you see what I look like, but thank you for treating me like a skinny, in-shape model who has never eaten chocolate in her life”.

I dropped the kids in the Kid Center, which seems nice and clean and bright. They were among the oldest there, although it goes through age 11. I told them to get used to it, as I plan to go often. Not to mention that in the school year, they will be conspicuously homeschoolers, and will almost certainly be the oldest kids there!

Anyhow, I dropped them off and headed to the locker room. I lost 25 cents in a locker, before I dug another quarter out and found another locker. I finally managed that, and after taking a deep breath, left my shelter there and went to face the machinery.

I like the look of this gym - clean, bright, lots of equipment, none of the frills, reasonable prices. The people working out all looked like normal people, and not the scary hard-bodies on various fitness center commercials. I selected an elliptical machine, as I have used and liked those before. Now, they seemed easy to use, but I wasn’t sure what buttons to push. I tried a few and started walking. My goal was 25 minutes. After about five minutes passed, it became apparent that:

1. I was very out of shape
2. I had no idea what buttons to push

The machine kept beeping at me that I had no heart rate (is that bad?). I tried to ignore it, and hoped no one else could hear it over the gym noise and their earphones. After a few minutes trying to get my attention, the machine gave up on me, and told me (quite resignedly) that it was quitting the program I selected and going to manual mode…whatever that means. I was glad it stopped bothering me.

As my face slowly started turning red from exertion, I began to pray that no one would walk behind my machine and look at my digital screen. It showed in large red digital ways that I was going very slow and with no resistance at all. The straight line at the bottom of my read-out meant I had no incline, and was not even on level 1!

I did make it 25 minutes. As I gathered my things and prepared to get off the machine, I realized that my legs were almost paralyzed, stuck to the machine in shock of what I had put them through. I prayed some more that I could dismount without falling on my face. I got off - which was good. Now I had to walk away - which is bad. My legs did not want to move at all! “Move!” I pleaded with them. They grudgingly agreed, but only if I got to a comfy couch, preferably with a bag of M & M’s. I told them to knock it off and get to the ab room.

Yes, the place has a whole room dedicated to working on abs. The machines look like left-overs from a medieval torture chamber. I found one the personal trainer had showed me on my tour. He had even demonstrated it for me, moving with ease. Needless to say, I did about 5 reps and collapsed. I quickly left the room, and took comfort in the fact that the 3 or 4 other people in there were not moving, either, and none of us looked each other in the eye.

I had to admit defeat. 30 minutes for a first work-out was going to have to do. Well, maybe defeat is too dramatic. I got there, I exercised, I felt it. You have to start somewhere, and I have. We will go back often. Hubby went the night we joined. He is excited to. Not that weight is ever an issue for him, lucky man. However, even slender people need to stay in shape, and sitting in front of a computer all day does nothing good for the body.

Luckily, I get my free session with a trainer on Monday, so he will show me how to use all the equipment properly.

So, here’s to health!

Ahhh, after a week of weather so hot my flesh almost sizzled away after seconds outdoors, it rained tonight! It should be cooler tomorrow. Honestly, I shouldn’t complain at all as, for Texas, this summer has hardly been hot.

I tend to have bad luck with lines and things like that - whatever line I get it is bound to grind to a halt and move slower than any other line, no matter what! Apparently, my luck extends to roads and construction, as well. On the way down, we hit several construction zones, all barely moving, while traffic zipped along going north. Of course, on the way home, we found ourselves in a road grid due to construction going north, while traffic south zipped along! Both ways, a 3-4 hour trip took 6-7 hours!

One thing I noticed was that I felt right at home the whole trip, traveling and in my brother’s city. Why? Minus my actual house, it was just like home. All the stores are the same, all the malls, all the subdivisions, all the restaurants.  That seems to be a mark of progress in any sweet, pretty rural area - the advent of the Big Stores, or the opening of yet another 1-of-2-million-mart. I appreciate it to a degree, the ability to pull of the highway and find my way to a place I know I can purchase sunscreen, flip-flops, and (once-upon-a-time) diapers. However, most smaller cities and larger towns seem to have lost their identities, becoming zombie-like clones of one another. One of the saddest things was driving through some beautiful back roads in the Texas Hill country, and finding suburban sprawl beginning to spout up, like some terrible blight. Drinking in the trees and hills, knowing that if I come back in a year or two, some of it will have been replaced with the same stores/fast food places/restaurants/malls that can be found anywhere else.

We got to spend Saturday at a theme park that features a large black and white killer whale. We never saw the whale, as the crowds were so large we couldn’t even get in the theater. It was very hot and extremely overcrowded. But, the kids all had fun, the adults all got sunburned, we got to touch dolphins, and we made great memories!

Now I need to rest from my vacation!